Office Chair Skating

This is AWESOME and I think I'll be brushing up on my skills so I can make the tryouts next year, ha!....anyone want to be my Office Chair Skating partner??

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

This is a copy of an email I just got from a friend - it's one of the funniest I've ever gotten ....I'm just pissed I didn't think of these things myself, ugh!

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because you're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.


Its Called therapy.

Crazy Squirrel Saga continues!

Ok, I'm really getting close to borrowing my brother's sling-shot & pelting the crap out of this damn squirrel. Evidently he now has eaten all of those peanuts he found or he can't remember where he hid them (any flower pot that he could find around the neighborhood!)so he's lacking nutrution & feels the need to EAT my PLASTIC Martha Stewart table cloth! What the hell drives a squirrel to eat plastic?!......Wait, don't tell me he using it to build a nest for the winter....dammit!

Here are some incriminating photos I have of him in the act:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theofficegurl/sets/72157602823643096/

Here's a video I found n YouTube that seems to portray a squirrel doing the victory dance that my terrorizing squirrel probably does when I'm not home & he's successfully destroyed my flowers, then secretly hid peanuts in the pots, & ate have my table cover over the period of a week:

Hott Scottsmen Poll Results

Well it looks like the results are in from my "Hott Scottsmen" Poll! With a vote of 3 to 1, GOOD looking men in kilts are HOTT!! I knew you ladies would pull through and make me proud. **Just in case you didn't check out the poll results and might be thinking I'm just making the results up, you can view it at the bottom of my page now**

Only in America

Ok, here are some random thoughts about American society I received in an email today and the weird shit that only happens here...it really gets you thinking!

Only in America....
... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, an d a diet coke.
... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (This is extremely frustrating to me!!)
... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.(This really makes you wonder about who the DMV actually lets take their driving test)
________

Now, ever wonder why:
...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
... Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
... Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
... Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
... Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
... You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
... Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Hott Scottsmen Poll

Sean McKeown

( also known as a Hott Scottsman )

Ok, recently we went to the Renaissance Faire and there were plenty of Hott Scottsmen! (Here's to Tom with the hottest kilt - GO TOM!!) I voiced my opinion here in the office that there's just something about a man in a kilt.....taking into consideration that he's good looking(trust me, not EVERY man looks good in a kilt, uggh!). Some just looked at me funny when I got all dreamy-eyed when I was talking about the hott bagpiper from the Tartan Terrors that played at the RFaire (see pictures above!). So I got to thinking....I wanted to take a poll of how many people thought (goodlooking) guys in kilts are HOTT .

So don't let me down girls....you know they're sexy, cast your votes.
(The poll is located on the menu bar on the right side of my blog page) --->

(FYI: you can view other sexy shot of the Tartan Terrors at:

http://www.tartanterrors.com/photos-gallery.html )

That damn chinese lady is standing outside again, but this time she's standing behind MY CAR!! WTF!...I think someone needs to tell her that people don't usually wander around a parking lot talking on their phone...she's also a little too close to my car...I might have to press my panic button on my alarm system just to make her think she set it off, muahaha! ok, I'm putting way too much thought into this.